By Gina Nored, Lifeline Student Intern
Before I walk, I sit. The chapel chairs arranged in a square feel confining yet free. I find myself locked into the presence of Jesus of my own will, and He helps me prepare for the coming visits. I feel as if I’m wasting time, but I know I’m not. My feet will carry me to their doors soon enough. I imagine Jesus walking beside me as I go down the hospital floors. He waits beside me when I hesitantly knock on the door, open it, and introduce myself.
“Hi, I’m a hospital chaplain, would you like a short visit or a short prayer?” If they let me in, I tell them my name and I ask theirs. I feel honored to hear their stories- why they’re there, who loves them, their fears and gratitude. I never thought I would get to meet as many children of God as I have. Some of them know they are children of God, some of them don’t, but I get the privilege of seeing my Father in them even if they can’t see it themselves.
It fascinates me that these strangers so willingly and so easily bypass the formalities of small talk, of building trust over time and simply begin sharing the deep wells of their lives with me. I cannot understand what compels them to share that they don’t know how to pray, that they’re afraid they’ll never reconcile with their mom, that they’re frustrated and scared and overwhelmed. They are exhausted, feel like a burden, struggle with alcoholism, miss their deceased loved ones, fear their own death, and desperately want to go home.
I have always been drawn to the people on the fringes, quiet people, hurting people. I have always thrived with deepness and the rawness of life. So why am I surprised when Jesus turns to me and says, “Gina, little lamb, I was just headed to sit with the lamb over there, alone in the pasture. Would you like to come with me? You’re just the one I had in mind to show them we’ve heard their bleating cries. Sometimes sheep like this one have forgotten my voice and become afraid of me. Sometimes they just need me to pick them up and hold them close. Sometimes if they see us together, they aren’t as afraid, and they can learn to trust my voice. Would you like to come, dear one?”
Yes, I say. Yes. Let’s go sit with them, Jesus. And with his rod and his staff, we trod gently across the pasture to the feet of the little lamb He loves so much.