Lament: Giving Voice to Suffering and Hope

By Tamara Thompson, BCC

I recently listened as a patient shared how sad she was that her health issues prohibited her from doing the things that she wanted to do. Her sister, with whom she lived, would often chastise her for being sad and told her she needed to have more faith. “I do have faith, but it is really hard when my health has declined so much that I cannot move,” she said, adding, “I sometimes wonder what God is doing with me.”

When I observed that the patient was lamenting, the woman looked at me and asked, “What’s that?” When I explained what it means to lament, the 65-year-old patient responded, “I have never heard of that. Can you tell me more?” The patient was surprised to hear that many people in the Bible, including Jesus, lamented, and that many Psalms are actually laments. After I read her a few of them, she asked if I could provide a list of the Psalms of Lament. So what does it mean to lament? And is it okay to lament? It is a concept—and a word—that we don’t often hear in our society that emphasizes self-reliance and prosperity and downplays emotional responses as weakness. Nevertheless, lament is often an apt description when one struggles with faith in the midst of suffering. Lament can be “biblical, honest, and redemptive,” according to author Mark Vroegop in his book Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy. “Every
lament is a prayer. A statement of faith. Lament is the honest cry of a hurting heart wrestling with the paradox of pain and the promise of God’s goodness,” Vroegop says. ¹

Cries of the heart are all throughout the scriptures. The Israelites lamented their time in the desert that seemed to have no end. David lamented the death of his son Absalom. Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law, lamented the loss of her husband and sons. Many of the ancient laments are captured in the Psalms; at least one-third of the Psalter is made up of Psalms of Lament. Not surprisingly, laments can also be found in the book of Lamentations. In the gospels, Jesus quotes from Psalm 22, a Psalm of Lament, on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

“The task of the practice of lament is to produce a form of character that can live with unanswered questions, not through repression or denial, but by expression and active acceptance of the reality of evil and suffering and the love of God in the midst of it,” says theologian and author John Swinton. ² Lamenting both expresses the heartache and recognizes the presence and care of God, who hears that pain.

Recognizing lament and giving voice to it may provide comfort. Praying the Psalms of Lament is a means of providing comfort through language that cries out to God amidst suffering and sorrow while voicing hope and faith in God. They offer a way to move through times of disorientation, which Walter Brueggemann notes is the middle stage of his “schematic for a life of faith” (the first stage being orientation and the last being reorientation). ³

In a hospital setting, spiritual caregivers will encounter people at every turn who will experience disorientation at some time or other. Nearly everything can be disorienting for patients and their families in the hospital. Their time is interrupted and co-opted by testing,
consulting with doctors, vital-sign taking, fasting, eating special (read that different and often disliked) diets, and having nearly all activities, limited that they may be, monitored in one way or another. They can lose control over everything from who walks in the door to when they can use the bathroom. If a patient is given a diagnosis, he or she will have to try to make sense of how it will affect his or her life. If doctors cannot determine a diagnosis or misdiagnose, the patient may become progressively more frustrated as he or she struggles with being in limbo. With all these things going on, often at the same time, spiritual caregivers may find patients and/or their families bemoaning life; in effect, they are lamenting. Giving voice to their lament may help with their ability to cope.

Medical staff members are also subjected to conditions that cause disorientation. Patients they care for die unexpectedly, suffer from difficult conditions, and undergo hardships that cause deep grief and sadness. Nurses cannot enter a “space of suffering with another and remain unchanged. Yet if the nurse is not able to cope when entering into the patients’ suffering, she or he will not be sustainable as an effective caregiver,” says Renee C. Lick, a registered nurse. Lick emphasizes that managing one’s grief is crucial for those working in healthcare. “Just as nurses encourage patients to speak aloud what they are feeling and experiencing, nurses need to practice lament,” she says. ⁴ By recognizing opportunities for medical professionals to lament, spiritual caregivers can help them cope with their disorienting feelings and prepare them to serve their patients with God’s strength and hope.

Physicians have a little different perspective but still experience disorientation. They are used to the expectation that they will be able to “fix” their patients with medical technology, even though this causes an inappropriate burden that can cause burnout, empathy fatigue, and grief, says Dr. David Arriola. He goes on: “The physician may not experience the physical suffering of the patient, but can experience a pit of his own, facing his powerlessness to cure the one with whom’s care he has been entrusted.” ⁵ By praying the Psalms of Lament, Arriola says, “the physician need not be a machine, . . . but a contingent human being capable of weeping with those who weep and rejoicing with those who rejoice, all the while witnessing to a faithful God.” ⁶

In a church setting, there are many who may suffer quietly, but whose suffering may be expressed through lament if given the opportunity. “The original setting of the lament psalms was within the worship of small groups, their primary purpose being the restoration and rehabilitation of those experiencing evil and suffering,” says Swinton (author’s italics). ⁷ A worship service structured with lament in mind might focus on losses of loved ones, tragedies or traumas experienced personally or communally, and/or unsettling national and international events. Carefully and sensitively planned, these times of collective lament can bring empathy,
meaning, and healing.

Because of the draining work spiritual caregivers do, self-care must be intentional and helpful. Praying the Psalms of Lament can serve as an outlet for expressing the heartbreaking narratives that they inevitably encounter. These psalms and other scriptures rooted in lament can help to recenter oneself to God’s presence, mercy, and sovereignty. Recalling 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, they can become a source of God’s comfort. Although lament may feel heavy and even countercultural, recognizing it and practicing
it with prayer and supplication can bring new meaning to those experiencing spiritual distress and disorientation. It gave my patient a new way to look at her pain and find comfort, then and hopefully in the days to come.