The Pastoral Church: Creating a Culture of Care
By Gabriel Fisher
Throughout my life, I have visited many churches. Some are warm and friendly right at the door. Others do not seem to notice you at all. Still others are friendly at the front end but do not make much of an effort to get to know you beyond that. What is at stake in each of these scenarios? Connection and meaningful relationships. We are wired for meaningful connection and relationships, and these are vital to the health of our faith. Throughout my studies, the evidence has repeatedly pointed to the importance of community. For example, the Barna Group recently published some research about decreasing faith engagement among Gen Z women. Barna points to the experience of disconnection and lack of support and understanding as contributing factors. It is not a far leap to consider how these same factors impact the whole church body. This article is about taking steps through pastoral care to become a church that is better connected and more supportive. I will suggest three beginning ingredients for the task of creating a culture of care: environment, mentorship, and story-listening.
Pastoral care is an intentional approach to ministry that seeks to come alongside people where they are. Some people, like chaplains, are called to work in hospitals, hospices, first responder teams, and other professional settings. However, the church also plays a vital role in the emotional, spiritual, and relational care of others. Many in crisis find themselves isolated or feel invisible during their difficult experiences. Some, unfortunately, report experiences of feeling completely disconnected from their church. Will you stand in the gap?
A proposal to bring about significant change may feel daunting, unrealistic, and idealistic. It is at this point that good ideas often die. I want to encourage us to start by narrowing the goal. Narrowing the scope of our project until a feasible entry point presents itself ensures that we take the first step. Instead of starting with “creating a new church culture,” why not start with one intentional change? My first suggestion is about environment. Insights from both scripture and psychology converge to provide a complimentary point. Hospitality and warm welcome are both necessary conditions for vulnerability and depth of relationship. People will not open up if they do not feel the person across from them is trustworthy. What is one thing you might do to add to the hospitable atmosphere of your church? Perhaps you might sit in a different part of the auditorium, so you naturally visit with different people. Maybe you can set a goal to check in on three different people throughout the week. We can also never underestimate the significance of sharing meals together. The possibilities are endless!
Second, consider developing mentorships. In congregations, a significant context for pastoral care is discipleship. We need relationships that go deeper than surface pleasantries or routine activities. Referencing the earlier study by Barna Group, only 32 percent of young women in their sample felt valued by older adults. can corroborate these finding from my ministry among college and young professionals. I perceive a hunger for mentorship. In my experience both within hospitals and churches, people want to talk about meaningful topics. Pastoral care relationships provide a framework for how to approach this opportunity. I want to ask: (1) how are you equipping yourself for mentorship? (2) are you currently mentoring someone in your church?
Third, practice the art of story-listening. We are interpretive beings who discover and create meaning in the stories of our lives. It makes sense then that a pastoral relationship would invest in hearing these stories. This seems obvious until we consider how rare it is for someone to actually listen to us. More often, we eagerly wait our turn to share our own story, a tidbit of wisdom, or an anecdote. Intentional story-listening, by contrast, involves three principles.
1. Allow for interruptions and be accessible. Life presents us with barriers to being good story-listeners. Perhaps someone’s beliefs or lifestyle is offensive to us. Maybe the timing is challenging. Are we willing to be interrupted? Are we committed to being accessible to this person across from us?
2. Stay with the story, Stories can distract, offend, and confuse. Stay with it! Meaningful ministry is waiting for those who are willing to be a consistent companion.
3. Stay curious about the core concerns being shared with you. Experience and knowledge are double-edged swords. They can provide guidance in the moment, but they can also serve as blinders and cause us to miss important details and insights.
I believe churches that invest in creating a culture of care will greatly benefit. The goal is big, but there are easy and accessible steps each of us can take to move forward. The opportunity is to love others as God loves us. Prayerfully consider what this might look like in your community and begin to incorporate hospitality, mentorship, and story-listening in the process. In the end, hurting people may feel heard, supported, and connected to God and others.
Barna Group, “Gen Z Women Struggle to Find Their Place in Christian Faith and Community,” Online (14 October 2025), www.barna.com/trends/gen-z-women-struggling-in-faith.
Tom Kelley and David Kelley, Creative Confidence: Unleashing the Creative Potential Within Us All (New York: CurrencyBooks, 2013), 147.
Consider Matthew 25: 31-46 and Romans 12:1-18. Also see Carl R. Rogers, On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy (New York: HarperOne, 1995).
Barna, “Gen Z Women Struggle to Find Their Place in Christian Faith and Community.”
Gabriel Fisher, A Brief Biblical Reflection on Pastoral Care: A Lifeline Chaplaincy Resource (Kearney, Nebraska: Morris Publishing, 2025), 83.